...and i want sex, too. i want the romance, mostly. i want the closeness. i crave the closeness. i wish i was close with him. i wish he wanted to be close to me.

this is what my dreams were made of: me being in england and us being together. but it never happened and it seems that everyone expects me to not be sad about it. how can i not be sad about this? i'm sorry, i know he's fine with the way things are, but that makes it worse. i thought he felt something more and he didn't. neither has anyone else. i'm tired of Always. Being. Alone.

When will it be my turn for arms around me as I go to bed?

When will I find my place where I fit in and not have to leave?

xxx

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