He was right.

I don't like hearing about people he fancies or people he's pulled, even if there's no possible chance of us getting together anymore. It tears me up and I can't figure out if it's some lingering desire for him or if it's just because there's no one in my life that I crave and I'm jealous that he has longings for others while I'm left cherishing a memory: the person I thought he was. Of course, I'll pretend I'm fine with it and talk about people I fancy (even though I just find them attractive and really have no desire for any of them and just go along with them because it's something to do). Doing otherwise would be admitting that he was right, that maybe there wasn't anything wrong with him hiding a girlfriend for four years.

Ah well.

Ireland. Galway is one of the world's coolest cities. I am hoping to meet people in my hostel tonight so we can go out clubbing; I want a proper clubbing night with proper dancing and proper music. Drum n'bass kind of stuff maybe. No r'n'b crap. Had a good night in a pub when I was here with the Stray tour, so hopefully it'll be the same today. It figures that the skies just start clearing as I head back to the hostel to do laundry.

Laundry. It's amazing how exciting the prospect of clean clothes is. It's like a rainbow finally emerging from a dullen, grey sky.

(BTW, it bugs me that he has a diary on here and I can't fucking read it because it's passworded! Bastard! He can read mine all he wants - for all I know, he's reading this - though he says he doesn't. Hmph.)

Aran Islands were the last two days. First day: hostel room with two fifty year old women. That was a fucking blast, as I'm sure anyone can imagine. Add the fact that they were bird enthusiasts, raving about all the different flower and bird species on this island that aren't anywhere else in the world, and you have a fucking nightclub atmosphere. Who needs alcohol when you have birds??

Sadly, they switched rooms the next day because the generator was too loud (I slept through it because I sleep through earthquakes) and they couldn't sleep. In exchange, I was blessed with 3 new roomates who all knew each other, but were very friendly. Two of them were guys from South Africa and one was an Irish girl who was going out with one of the guys. As I said, very friendly; I went to the pub with them and ate chips while they ate dinner and we bonded like travellers do: pretending to know each other Really Really Well because we'll never see each other again.

One stabbed a knife through my heart when he told me he loathes the Manics. That there's something about them that drives him absolutely mental and he can't bear one note from them. It actually physically caused me a great deal of pain. For some reason, he found it amusing as I clutched my heart in agony.

A couple of them went to drink whiskey after in an attempt to get absolutely trashed by the beach. I was invited, ensured that "there's no meat in whiskey!" (Yes, haha guys, make fun of the non-meat eater who doesn't know the difference between fillet and sirloin and t-bone steak. Haha.) Unfortunately, the Canadian traveller had an 8:30 a.m. ferry to catch and wanted to save her mood and her liver for the chance of tonight's hopping 'round Galway's night circuit. Let's hope it was not in vain and that some proper clubbing happens tonight. The Canadian traveller fucking needs it.

Homesickness is still a wave of pain over me. Sometimes I'm just walking down a street and wish I was with my mommy. Others, I'm fine. Generally, I fucking want to go home, but know I need to enjoy the time here so it's not wasted. I was thinking I should have just gone home right after the year ended, but I know I would've regretted not coming to Ireland. I've always wanted to come here, and see it thorougly; now I know this isn't a place I'll come back to, but I'm glad I know and am not left wishing I had done it.

I'm thinking that after I graduate, maybe a year or so after and I've saved up some money, I'll take my mom with me to go to Switzerland. Seeing Austria has kindled this Swiss fire in me and I think my mom would like it there: mountains, scenery, etc. Mother-daughter bonding, etc.

This internet cafe isn't the cheapest in the world, so I will be off.

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